2 minutes to make a difference- An Update

     So it kinda dawned on me today I haven't updated in a long time. Almost a month to be exact if not a little longer. OOPPPPS Mad cow has been busy and I apologize. A lot of life changes have  been going on and most of them, actually no all of them, for the greater good of Mad Cow kind. So we will start with some of the more usual updates and then hit the personal ones.
Weight Loss
    Since my weight loss journey began I am now down 44 pounds,6 inches off my hips and 7 inches off my waist. I still have a major bingo wing problem but over all I am doing good.
2 minutes Make the Difference
    This deserves its own heading because well my journey into weight loss started with eating right of course but more importantly it started with 2 minutes. When I began I could only handle about 2 minutes on the elliptical before completely losing my breath , knee pain, back pain, and exhaustion(I FELT PATHETIC), but I told myself its 2 minutes more then you did yesterday and eventually 2 turned into 5 then 10, 15, 30, and now 35 plus usually another exercise sometime in the day.I eat way way less, water no longer makes me nauseous, and I'm doing good. I hit snags every now and then but that is to be expected but things are going great.
You weigh yourself how much
    DAILY. Taboo ,I know, most specialist tell you not to weigh yourself daily so that when you hit these snags you don't get discouraged but personally I find that by weighing myself daily I am able to stay on track. For example;if  I was bad in the past , say on my cheat day or just  a bad day (I'm human I have them too we all do)  the next day I would give up and be like well I screwed it up and ruined all my hard work. Well ladies and gents weighing myself daily has taught me that no usually one bad day is not going to throw all your hard work in the drain and that yeah you may not be lighter the next day but odds are your no more then 1 pound heavier either, so don't beat yourself up for having a cupcake or an extra piece of pizza as long as its just one day odds are your fine. I need to see that on the scale to stay motivated it also helps me keep up when I hit a snag so I know okay lets change this or try that. So while this works for me and if you think like me it will probably help you also it is definitely not for everyone.
Oil's 
    My skin is awesome, my hair is stunning and well using the oils has been the best decision I ever made. My face breaks out rarely and when it does its so mild. My hair well it hasn't been this awesome in years so grapeseed and coconut oil are officially forever in my bathroom.

Mentally
     Well as I have spoke before I have struggled with depression off and on most of my life. Well recently it has came back full force causing me to be mean and nasty with the people I love the most. Call it not being able to deal and putting up a wall of steel because I kept getting hurt. We lost a baby, I was so over weight I  was unhappy, my father was diagnosed with cancer,my son was born premature, my husbands plant shut down, my son needed 2 surgeries his first year after being in the hospital 60 days, we had to move, my father passed away, my uncle passed away , I didn't get into the perfect Grad school (I am in grad school now though not the perfect one but it will do lol). Pretty much for every good thing that happened to me it seemed there was something equally bad or worse happening, so I did what I did best tried to push people away and shut everyone out. Well things came to a head when the voice in my head wouldn't shut up and I lost control(FYI the voice in my head is my own I don't hear voices but just to explain what i mean better its my fancy way of saying my mind wouldn't shut off) not to mention my mind would say not to do something but then I would do it anyway because that wall was so tall. Well after discussing with my husband we agreed a trip to the doc was in order so now once a morning I take a small little 10mg dose of lexapro and all is well in my head. The biggest downfall is the fact as clarity comes back and the fog lifts you realize the things you were overly bitchy about and you feel like shit. Luckily I have a wonderful husband and supportive family who all forgive me for the crazy. So now that things are clear I am on a mission to make sure those who I love know exactly how much I love them and how much I can't live without them , they really do make my world go round. Also, I share this with you because as a psychology major what kind of professional would I be if I hid my own mental struggles, I mean seriously how can I expect someone to be honest with me if I can't be honest. Mental illness is scary depression is real and the feelings that go along with it are crazy , you feel crazy. There is nothing worse then feeling out of control of yourself. However, I am now back my smiles are no longer hiding anything and my tears well they come a lot right now because wow when that wall comes down and you let people in again you feel really really vulnerable and its scary but things are balancing out and I like that.
Counting my blessings
    I am now counting my blessings every day. I have two healthy sons, who drive me crazy but I love them. I have the worlds best husband who loves me despite my craziness and who has always been there for me and at times is very romantic. Our 6th anniversary I got 6 balloons 6 flowers and 6 boxes of chocolate I almost tear up thinking about that because it was so super romantic he really is perfect. I have a mother who supports and love me in whatever crazy things I choose. I have a brother who is my best friend and I would die without. Last,but certainly not least, I have some of the most amazing friends it takes a lot to be friends with a crazy  person but they do it gladly. So I now count my blessings and take each day as a new day and try to find the good in it because despite all that has tried to knock me down I am still standing .