2 minutes to make a difference- An Update

     So it kinda dawned on me today I haven't updated in a long time. Almost a month to be exact if not a little longer. OOPPPPS Mad cow has been busy and I apologize. A lot of life changes have  been going on and most of them, actually no all of them, for the greater good of Mad Cow kind. So we will start with some of the more usual updates and then hit the personal ones.
Weight Loss
    Since my weight loss journey began I am now down 44 pounds,6 inches off my hips and 7 inches off my waist. I still have a major bingo wing problem but over all I am doing good.
2 minutes Make the Difference
    This deserves its own heading because well my journey into weight loss started with eating right of course but more importantly it started with 2 minutes. When I began I could only handle about 2 minutes on the elliptical before completely losing my breath , knee pain, back pain, and exhaustion(I FELT PATHETIC), but I told myself its 2 minutes more then you did yesterday and eventually 2 turned into 5 then 10, 15, 30, and now 35 plus usually another exercise sometime in the day.I eat way way less, water no longer makes me nauseous, and I'm doing good. I hit snags every now and then but that is to be expected but things are going great.
You weigh yourself how much
    DAILY. Taboo ,I know, most specialist tell you not to weigh yourself daily so that when you hit these snags you don't get discouraged but personally I find that by weighing myself daily I am able to stay on track. For example;if  I was bad in the past , say on my cheat day or just  a bad day (I'm human I have them too we all do)  the next day I would give up and be like well I screwed it up and ruined all my hard work. Well ladies and gents weighing myself daily has taught me that no usually one bad day is not going to throw all your hard work in the drain and that yeah you may not be lighter the next day but odds are your no more then 1 pound heavier either, so don't beat yourself up for having a cupcake or an extra piece of pizza as long as its just one day odds are your fine. I need to see that on the scale to stay motivated it also helps me keep up when I hit a snag so I know okay lets change this or try that. So while this works for me and if you think like me it will probably help you also it is definitely not for everyone.
Oil's 
    My skin is awesome, my hair is stunning and well using the oils has been the best decision I ever made. My face breaks out rarely and when it does its so mild. My hair well it hasn't been this awesome in years so grapeseed and coconut oil are officially forever in my bathroom.

Mentally
     Well as I have spoke before I have struggled with depression off and on most of my life. Well recently it has came back full force causing me to be mean and nasty with the people I love the most. Call it not being able to deal and putting up a wall of steel because I kept getting hurt. We lost a baby, I was so over weight I  was unhappy, my father was diagnosed with cancer,my son was born premature, my husbands plant shut down, my son needed 2 surgeries his first year after being in the hospital 60 days, we had to move, my father passed away, my uncle passed away , I didn't get into the perfect Grad school (I am in grad school now though not the perfect one but it will do lol). Pretty much for every good thing that happened to me it seemed there was something equally bad or worse happening, so I did what I did best tried to push people away and shut everyone out. Well things came to a head when the voice in my head wouldn't shut up and I lost control(FYI the voice in my head is my own I don't hear voices but just to explain what i mean better its my fancy way of saying my mind wouldn't shut off) not to mention my mind would say not to do something but then I would do it anyway because that wall was so tall. Well after discussing with my husband we agreed a trip to the doc was in order so now once a morning I take a small little 10mg dose of lexapro and all is well in my head. The biggest downfall is the fact as clarity comes back and the fog lifts you realize the things you were overly bitchy about and you feel like shit. Luckily I have a wonderful husband and supportive family who all forgive me for the crazy. So now that things are clear I am on a mission to make sure those who I love know exactly how much I love them and how much I can't live without them , they really do make my world go round. Also, I share this with you because as a psychology major what kind of professional would I be if I hid my own mental struggles, I mean seriously how can I expect someone to be honest with me if I can't be honest. Mental illness is scary depression is real and the feelings that go along with it are crazy , you feel crazy. There is nothing worse then feeling out of control of yourself. However, I am now back my smiles are no longer hiding anything and my tears well they come a lot right now because wow when that wall comes down and you let people in again you feel really really vulnerable and its scary but things are balancing out and I like that.
Counting my blessings
    I am now counting my blessings every day. I have two healthy sons, who drive me crazy but I love them. I have the worlds best husband who loves me despite my craziness and who has always been there for me and at times is very romantic. Our 6th anniversary I got 6 balloons 6 flowers and 6 boxes of chocolate I almost tear up thinking about that because it was so super romantic he really is perfect. I have a mother who supports and love me in whatever crazy things I choose. I have a brother who is my best friend and I would die without. Last,but certainly not least, I have some of the most amazing friends it takes a lot to be friends with a crazy  person but they do it gladly. So I now count my blessings and take each day as a new day and try to find the good in it because despite all that has tried to knock me down I am still standing .

Cow Bashing AKA You Dirty Fat Bastard

     Okay well first I have an update blog in the works but I read an article today that turned my stomach ill and some of the comments following the article were just as vile. Here is a snippet from the article 

"No two situations are the same. If you are fat and nasty and you don’t like the way you look, do something about it. It’s simple.

When you take a shower and you put your fat, nasty body in the shower and by the time you get out, the mirrors are all steamed up so you don’t look at what you did to yourself. That may sound offensive or insensitive but ultimately, you are big as hell because you have earned that shit. You worked your ass off to eat everything in sight to get big as hell.

If you got a problem with the way you look, then you need to do something about it. Excuses sound best to the people that’s making them up." - Tyrese (yes the same Tyrese from the Fast and the Furious franchise)

http://hellogiggles.com/an-open-letter-to-tyrese-from-a-fat-girl-fan (check the article out here and as always mad props to the hello giggles team them ladies are awesome)

Well first I am going to start with the first sentence; if not for the phrase "fat and nasty" it rings a very true message if you don't like how you look do something about it, however I also disagree with the" it's simple" statement because while yes the thought of okay I don't like it I'm going to change myself is simple its not just that simple to make changes, how about we rephrase that to say it's simple to start, because it's not simple to do. Also he then goes on about putting your fat nasty body in the shower and you worked your off ass to eat everything in sight. WOW, ignorant much, no sir not everyone who is overweight worked their asses off to get fat and regardless how they got there losing weight isn't as easy as gaining. Now first I get that the overall message he was trying to portray was a positive one because I believe to sum it up he is simply saying that you do yourself no favors making excuses for the way you look if you don't like it do something about it. Now see isn't that a much nicer approach then say calling every one fat and nasty and excusing them of eating their way into obesity

 

   Now this brings me to an important message. STOP FAT BASHING, I get it  some of you just think fat people are gross and that is your right but you start infringing on other peoples right to a peaceful existence when you start throwing stones and shaming people because of their weight. Your also more than likely a contributing factor to the "obesity epidemic". How are you a factor you ask , well simple some people are fat due to over eating because they eat for comfort and when you shame them and make them feel so low they go home and eat until they feel better, so yeah its your fault they are fat how about that. No I'm not seriously blaming you, but seriously when you fat bash you aren't helping the problem. However,it is important to remember that the root of someones weight gain may not be as simple as overeating in fact there are other possible causes : Medical causes of obesity can include:

• Hypothyroidism. This is a condition where the thyroid gland, located in the neck, produces too little thyroid hormone. Thyroid hormone regulates our metabolism. So too little hormone slows the metabolism and often causes weight gain. If your doctor suspects thyroid disease as a cause of your obesity, he or she may perform blood tests to check your hormone levels.

• Cushing's syndrome. This condition results when the adrenal glands (located on top of each kidney) produce an excess amount of a steroid hormone called cortisol. This leads to a build-up of fat in characteristic sites such as the face, upper back, and abdomen.

• Depression. Some people with depression overeat, which can lead to obesity.

There are also certain inherited conditions and other diseases of the brain that can cause excess weight gain.

Certain medications, notably steroids, some antidepressants, high blood pressure drugs, and seizure medications can also cause increased body weight.

A doctor can determine if any of these conditions or treatments are responsible for your obesity.

http://www.webmd.com/diet/medical-reasons-obesity     

There you have it not everyone is fat because of overeating there are several possible other options. For me I was doing good maintaining my weight and losing weight then I came off Yasmin and put on over 50lbs in 2 months the thing is my diet and exercise hadn't changed I was still eating good and working out. So please tell me again how I at myself fat. In fact I count my calories now and I hardly ever eat 2000 and I struggle to eat 1200and I workout everyday . I eat through out the day, small things like Greek yogurt and jello for snacks, slim fast if I'm just really needing something sweet(i don't like sweets and slim fast is perfect for me) I eat salads for lunch most days, on occasion I eat something else I am human and get tired of the same ole thing, my dinners usually consists of 1 meat and 2 vegetables so please explain to me again how I ate myself into obesity. I eat proper portion sizes i.e if 1 cup =130 calories I eat 1 cup etc. So it kills me when I see people say oh its just as simple as eating right and exercising because to that I say HA, I have been exercising and eating right and while I am starting to tone up and lose weight its a slow process(REALLY EFFING SLOW) with lots of plateaus and changes, see why people give up there is little reward at first and you get really frustrated. Also, it isn't as simple as getting up and saying okay today I will be thin because it doesn't work like that. Which  brings me to my next point, here I go busting my ass all day everyday trying to make sure I eat right , I exercise right, that I am doing something about it but then you run into the Tyrese's of the world and there are a lot of them and while they don't know my struggles , they don't know I am doing something about they are quick to judge and assume I am fat therefore I am lazy and I ate myself into this condition.THANKS FOR THE MOTIVATION JACK ASSES . People I am not saying its your job to say kind words and be encouraging, if you don't like fat people your entitled to your opinion, but what I am saying is that if you don't think its your job to be motivational then it sure as hell isn't your job to be judgmental and condemn someone for their weight either. Point blank if your not going to be motivational then shut your mouth, I see people posting pics of a fat girl at the beach wearing her bathing suit and making comments like ewwwwww thats nasty - really she is at the beach what would you have her wear a mumu ,not go swimming(good exercise btw) not be comfortable just because you think she is ugly.Even better I have seen videos were a big girl is on a treadmill, running or some other exercise when she trips, flips, falls and goes down and people start going off on her weight saying things like " haha fatty broke the bar","maybe if she wasn't fat she wouldn't have fell", and my personal favorite"eww maybe she should kill herself". WOW people are you really so flawless that you think its okay to insult someone like that and here we go back to my point ,what I see when I see those videos is a person attempting to do something about their weight, they were after all working out when the incident happened, but instead of people just laughing at a fall they start in on her weight and I'm sorry but did you miss the part of the video where at least she is doing something about her weight. Obviously they did  because all they saw was a fat girl and felt a need to start in on her and call her lazy,ugly, and etc.

  So I will conclude my angry rant with this , " If your not a doctor you have no business talking about someone else's weight , if you don't like it don't look and just keep walking , keeping your mouth shut." You never know if its a medical reason they are overweight, if it is over eating , and most importantly you don't know if they are trying to better themselves or not so just SHUT YOUR EFFING PIE HOLE. 

p.s This means skinny bashing as well , granted I personally would rather have skinny girl problems vs fat girl problems, its still the same concept you never know a persons struggles and what they are doing(if anything) to "fix" what you feel is a problem. Also just because you see a problem doesn't mean they do or that the problem is with them. A lot of times we see problems in others because we are afraid of our own reflection in the mirror. 

p.s.s -- CANT WE ALL JUST LOVE AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER.

  

not cows but its the main message lol . Try to forget all the people with the ill words and try to just remember that how you see yourself matters the most. "Haters gunna hate-yo". LMAO

all pictures obtained from google I do not own the rights I borrowed from google and they just fit i do not claim the pictures as my own creations.

Horsemen of PMS

TMI WARNING: will i ever have a post without a warning I doubt it - im an uncensored mad cow Lol.

   So as I sit here busting my butt to look good again and get in shape what happens but PMS, which I am one of the few who manage to get all the symptoms a week before the actual dirty deed arrives and I get it all pretty bad - think Anemic. So when the horsemen of PMS arrive I get agitated because its like all my hard work is now null and void for the next week , its cow-poop I tell you, cow-poop. 
   However I figure I should discuss these  Horsemen in an attempt to connect with my fellow sisters in PMS HELL. 

1. Bloated - Does anyone else deal with this one like I do? Seriously, I have been known to put on up to 10 pounds right before that time hits and its misery, especially now that I am working my butt off trying to lose weight . I mean seriously here I am starving, eating right, and exercising(that should be a 4 letter word) and bam bloated shows up like a dirty whore in the middle of your marriage. Now my pants are a little snug and my cute tops have an extra bulge and I'm gassy, which brings me to horsemen number.

2. Gassy- Okay seriously there is nothing better then dealing with the bloat than to add gas to it, oh yeah talk about feeling sexy, bloated and gassy. I'm sexy and I know it.

3. Acne-  COME ON can't one of you horsemen take a break, pleeeeeeeeeease. Seriously if one of you take a break acne has to be it I am an aging woman , I am turning 25 again this year and acne at my age is annoying, if I have to have acne can't I at least have the body I had back at 13. 

4. Moody - This is one of my favorite horsemen because it allows me the ability to go from perfectly sane kind caring woman to a complete and "udder" mess. Its all love and kisses one minute and all "ONE MORE WORD AND I'LL RIP YOUR HEART OUT"  the next. Moody is also responsible for weird crying , why do I call it weird crying because all the sudden things that never make me cry make me cry , don't you dare show me an ASPCA commercial I will cry for hours. At last, my favorite mood brought on by moody is bitchy/bitter, you know that moment when your kid is all look mom isn't this a wonderful drawing and you put on your happy face but inside your like omg who cares I could do it better. These mixed emotions that turn me into an all out psycho is why moody is my absolute favorite of the horsemen. -------- NOT

5. Crampy - I add this one because while typically most people don't get crampy until the day the dirty deed begins or maybe a day early, I get it during PMS. Yes boys and girls all that cramping before anything is actually happening and personally it is beginning to piss me off . 

   Maybe I am bitter because I have been dealing with this since I was 10 and while the joy of becoming a woman then was so awesome, now its like ughhhhhhhhh I'm a woman. Honestly, I would love to strap on a penis and be a man for a month with male hormones and all , while also giving a man a chance to know the joy of PMS, and finally I will have a month to figure out why they keep their hands down their pants so much I mean is that thing really that fun to fondle constantly.


*finally as a reminder all pictures were Googled and are not originals of my own*

You do what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!What I'm doing for results..

So before I proceed some of this information may be perceived as TMI(much like the picture below) so proceed carefully and know this -  YOU have been warned - again

 So I have been doing things,dirty things. JUST KIDDING, but I have been doing things my way when it comes to weight loss and skin care. Now by my way I mean things I have found from Google and friends suggestions but that may not fit the "norm". So I thought since these things appear to be working for me I would share them with you and what results I am seeing so far. Now I would like to give credit to all these things to the original creators but I won't be doing so because I don't know so I will say this - THESE ARE NOT MY ORIGINAL IDEAS these are just ones I am using based on friends and google - just like all my awesome images I use they come from google. GOOOOOOGLE rocks YO .

Weight Loss--
         First i record everything with myfitnesspal which gives me a calorie goal of 1950 which I almost never hit I'm usually under.. So here we go , 2 Chocolate Royale Slim-Fast shakes a day made with Vanilla Almond Milk and a Green Coffee bean Extract pill in the morning and one at night . Snacks I try to keep to a minimal a small piece or two of homemade beef jerky , a cookie(seriously 1 (one, uno,single,) cookie, a tbsp of salsa and the proper serving size of chips so like 5 chips in most cases, when it comes to snacking I'm talking really small portions of things, cucumbers and stuff like that. I'm a woman and on occasion I want chocolate well 6 dove dark pieces make up a serving which has like 160 calories so think about 2-3 of those if you need chocolate. I don't eat breakfast and I have my shake and i don't eat lunch i have my shake unless Im just really starving then I fix like say a can of soup for my son and eat 1/3 or less of it, now dinner I eat a normal dinner but in smaller portions then normal and try to keep my dinner down to 500 calories or less but if I go over no BIGGIE because the rest of the day wasn't so bad. Then when I start feeling hungry later I take that second Green Coffee bean pill it seems to help the cravings and I drink some water(typically with pink lemonade mix- regular water makes me GAG.

   Now, I try to do some sort of exercise be it hours of hard cleaning and I'm talking scrubbing floors, mopping, sweeping , vacuuming, or a few minutes on the elliptical . Yeah, a few minutes isn't a lot but it is for someone just starting and I'm up to 2 slow and 3 fast minutes on it so considering that number used to be 2 and done I'd say things are going good.
  Things that have been cut out. Pasta's right now are on a very minimal basis and cheese's have been cut down a lot, as well as breads, think a sandwich with only one piece of bread if I have a sandwich , soda's as well not that I have ever been a big soda's drinker so that was nothing.
    Slimfast warning though - it contains fiber and fiber makes you "regular" but if you haven't been getting the proper fiber at first you may discover a need for a nearby bathroom, A LOT, until your body regulates and even then you may notice an increase in bathroom usage--- I told you TMI. You were warned. Now my plan here may not work for everyone but so far I am down almost 10+ pounds in a week and 5 inches at last measure but this works for me it doesn't mean it will work for you so keep that in mind and know your weakness's.

Skin care - -

So as a maturing woman my skin care has been a problem. Not that I dont take care of my skin I do but for some reason I have been "blessed" with the joy that is acne and large pores and tired eyes. UGHHHHHH not what I want to see looking in the mirror, so a friend suggested the oil wash method(50/50 mix of EVOO and coconut oil) and I was like hmmm I lack coconut oil but I have grape seed sooooooooo I googled and sure enough you can use just grape seed alone and a bath with some grape seed oil is good for your skin and even other benefits, I saw one site mention that grape seed oil can help yeast infections(now i have not tried that one but found it on a search and thought it interesting). However I took a bath splashed some in the water with some sea salt and had a nice relaxing bath and my skin feels moisturized and smooth,  yesssssssssssss and thank you its nice to feel soft. So then I decided to try the face wash with it so what  I do at night is get a cotton ball and use lemon juice as an astringent and then another one to coat my face in grape seed oil , I then go about taking medications putting kids to bed and closing up shop for the night and rinse my face off and I have to report that at first I had a few zits pop up and I got worried but they were the "oh a zit grrr ,oh I touched it and it popped,coool" kind -- does that make sense, I hope so.. But sense then nothing much to report and my face is smooth my eye bags seem to be fading and my forehead wrinkles appear to be fading as well. Now here is the last thing I do and its not every night, but rather as a special treat.... You know KNOX gelatin (the plain stuff comes with 3 packs in a cheap box) well upon googling I found a recipe that stated take the Knox box open it remove 1 pack and mix with 1 tbsp milk stir , stick in microwave for 10 seconds pull out stir for a second and immediately apply.. ( here are the important parts to this :use a plastic spoon or wooden stick this stuff gets sticky and the apply immediately is extremely important it will start to harden and you will lose your creation). However I do use a regular bowl at home and have found that after I'm done if I immediately stick the bowl in the sink and fill with water I have no problems getting it clean..... Now to remove this just wait until you feel like you can't move your face ,its good and hard and than peel- it does stick good and may be a bit painful on sensitive spots - I have noticed cleaner pores with this but I will warn you DO NOT GET IT ON YOUR EYEBROW it will pull the hair off - I get peach fuzz between my eyes and well lets just say its gone along with some eyebrow from the first time, I have contemplated trying this as a wax on my legs and I may do it on a two tequila night when I'm feeling brave .. I also recommend a homemade sugar scrub once in a while to keep your face feeling really loved - but you will have to google it yourself as I haven't made one in awhile and I need to google a new one.

 Over all these are the things I use and feel free to try what you want. However, I am not a doctor nor do I play one on T.V. and while these things work for me they may not work for you. With any new diet or exercise I suggest you discuss with your doctor before committing to it and as far as skin care, I suggest testing a small area for allergies.  These things are working for me and I am beginning to lose weight and feel great and I will try to keep with the updates. SO onward to the goal of not being such a heffer. =)

The Dirty 30 and forever 25

               Warning: Franki AKA the SUPER MAD COW has a potty mouth and does not sensor herself                 well you have been warned

      So the past few days I have been wrestling with myself a lot. Why ? Because holy hell I turn 30 in August, when did this happen , how did this happen, where the hell did my 20's go ???? Now this will be the last time that you will hear my age because from now on I will be forever 25, so suck on that bitches j/k , I'm an adult and I can be whatever I want to be, at least that's what I was told as a kid.  Anyway a lot of things have been running through my mind like ummmmmm this isn't what I was supposed to look like at this age and why am I still in college, why am I still just a mom and wife , and so much more. So I figured why not share my story here with everyone because "hell, I'm sure someone else out there feels the same or shares my problems, I hope - oh no maybe i'm crazy , craaaaaaaaaaap now you can see how often i talk to myself.... So I will start with that as a mom in a town that I am new too I have no friends  here and my husband works night's, sooooooooo my conversations tend to lean towards bills, kids, potty training, and Toy Story , therefore on occasion I need good stimulating conversation so I tend to talk to myself, I honestly didn't consider this a problem until I started giving long practiced speeches and I was like okay maybe your losing it, but then I started answering myself and I thought okay I've lost it but then I started having full fledged conversations with myself in which I would answer myself, argue with myself and even refuse to answer myself because I was just being stubborn. Then I figured okay maybe I'm a full fledged nut case but that's okay, now when I talk to myself I can do it here and you can see it so I am talking to you - yeah you sitting at your computer going OMG WHY AM I STILL READING THIS - so to that I quote Sheldon and BAZINGA. LOL . So now onto issue 2 I was supposed to still look like I did 10 yrs ago , I mean I expected a wrinkle or two, nothing Botox wouldn't fix and to still fit into my jeans from high school but no I had kids and stress and abusive relationships so instead I have this, an overweight fat ass who has bags under eyes and wrinkles on her forehead and bingo wings there I admitted I have flipping BINGO WINGS. OMG I was a pitcher, a catcher, a first basemen, and a home run hitter I had a tight ass, flat stomach, killer calves, well shaped arms, and an EFFING AWESOME RACK. Now I have BINGO WINGS , my rack well just call me MOOZILLA because OMG they look like cow utters MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO can someone milk me please . AGH what happened ? LIFE, well eff you life because one thing is for sure I'm getting back my ass, my tummy, and hopefully the doctor will help with the utters when that time comes and as far as the wrinkles well I'm using home remedies there and hopefully they work (Knox face mask, lemon juice, an grapeseed oil ) and as far as my weight well I'm using two Slim fast shakes a day, 2 green coffee bean pills, and myfitnesspal.. I also hike on occasion and try to get on the elliptical but the exercise part is still hard so I one day a time with that until hopefully I can run a 5k(thats the big goal) but it has to be a zombie one because ,seriously, I hated running when I was thin so when I get thin again give me a motivation to run like practicing for the inevitable zombie Apocalypse DUH.  OKAY, now next  I will take two birds one stone, I'm still just a mom and wife because I'm still in college. Well I'm starting a Masters program so technically its not the same but it is, if that makes sense LOL. Here I will start with this I don't believe in going to college and getting a degree that people think you should get, I mean I have a massive debt think 2013 Audi TT big and when I finish with my degree it will be closer to an Audi R8 , and see here is the thing you are paying for this degree and if that is the case then get full use out of that Audi R8 make sure you ride it every day and all your friends see how much you love it and enjoy your time with it and do it for you, most importantly make sure its what you want not them because again its YOUR AUDI R8 not theirs so make sure its what you want. Finally, I will keep sharing about my weight loss struggles, school struggles, and life journey and if you keep reading I am sure you will find I am blunt , honest, love a lot and sometimes to much kinda gal, and I am a hoot and a half that lacks a sensor and I have  proven to be HILARIOUS just wait and see and I will also try to remember to share my at home trials and errors with home remedies and let you know how they go . So see you on the flip side homies. YO LMAO j/k I'm not ghetto.

p.s  This is a bingo wing see that skin hanging down it flaps like a wing when you throw your hands up violently screaming BINGO I GOT A BINGO  -- also note that is not me in the picture im not that brave to share my bingo wings LMAO

*all images have been used from google and are not mine so please don't credit me as they are borrowed for their perfect match to my blog*