Horsemen of PMS

TMI WARNING: will i ever have a post without a warning I doubt it - im an uncensored mad cow Lol.

   So as I sit here busting my butt to look good again and get in shape what happens but PMS, which I am one of the few who manage to get all the symptoms a week before the actual dirty deed arrives and I get it all pretty bad - think Anemic. So when the horsemen of PMS arrive I get agitated because its like all my hard work is now null and void for the next week , its cow-poop I tell you, cow-poop. 
   However I figure I should discuss these  Horsemen in an attempt to connect with my fellow sisters in PMS HELL. 

1. Bloated - Does anyone else deal with this one like I do? Seriously, I have been known to put on up to 10 pounds right before that time hits and its misery, especially now that I am working my butt off trying to lose weight . I mean seriously here I am starving, eating right, and exercising(that should be a 4 letter word) and bam bloated shows up like a dirty whore in the middle of your marriage. Now my pants are a little snug and my cute tops have an extra bulge and I'm gassy, which brings me to horsemen number.

2. Gassy- Okay seriously there is nothing better then dealing with the bloat than to add gas to it, oh yeah talk about feeling sexy, bloated and gassy. I'm sexy and I know it.

3. Acne-  COME ON can't one of you horsemen take a break, pleeeeeeeeeease. Seriously if one of you take a break acne has to be it I am an aging woman , I am turning 25 again this year and acne at my age is annoying, if I have to have acne can't I at least have the body I had back at 13. 

4. Moody - This is one of my favorite horsemen because it allows me the ability to go from perfectly sane kind caring woman to a complete and "udder" mess. Its all love and kisses one minute and all "ONE MORE WORD AND I'LL RIP YOUR HEART OUT"  the next. Moody is also responsible for weird crying , why do I call it weird crying because all the sudden things that never make me cry make me cry , don't you dare show me an ASPCA commercial I will cry for hours. At last, my favorite mood brought on by moody is bitchy/bitter, you know that moment when your kid is all look mom isn't this a wonderful drawing and you put on your happy face but inside your like omg who cares I could do it better. These mixed emotions that turn me into an all out psycho is why moody is my absolute favorite of the horsemen. -------- NOT

5. Crampy - I add this one because while typically most people don't get crampy until the day the dirty deed begins or maybe a day early, I get it during PMS. Yes boys and girls all that cramping before anything is actually happening and personally it is beginning to piss me off . 

   Maybe I am bitter because I have been dealing with this since I was 10 and while the joy of becoming a woman then was so awesome, now its like ughhhhhhhhh I'm a woman. Honestly, I would love to strap on a penis and be a man for a month with male hormones and all , while also giving a man a chance to know the joy of PMS, and finally I will have a month to figure out why they keep their hands down their pants so much I mean is that thing really that fun to fondle constantly.


*finally as a reminder all pictures were Googled and are not originals of my own*