2 minutes to make a difference- An Update

     So it kinda dawned on me today I haven't updated in a long time. Almost a month to be exact if not a little longer. OOPPPPS Mad cow has been busy and I apologize. A lot of life changes have  been going on and most of them, actually no all of them, for the greater good of Mad Cow kind. So we will start with some of the more usual updates and then hit the personal ones.
Weight Loss
    Since my weight loss journey began I am now down 44 pounds,6 inches off my hips and 7 inches off my waist. I still have a major bingo wing problem but over all I am doing good.
2 minutes Make the Difference
    This deserves its own heading because well my journey into weight loss started with eating right of course but more importantly it started with 2 minutes. When I began I could only handle about 2 minutes on the elliptical before completely losing my breath , knee pain, back pain, and exhaustion(I FELT PATHETIC), but I told myself its 2 minutes more then you did yesterday and eventually 2 turned into 5 then 10, 15, 30, and now 35 plus usually another exercise sometime in the day.I eat way way less, water no longer makes me nauseous, and I'm doing good. I hit snags every now and then but that is to be expected but things are going great.
You weigh yourself how much
    DAILY. Taboo ,I know, most specialist tell you not to weigh yourself daily so that when you hit these snags you don't get discouraged but personally I find that by weighing myself daily I am able to stay on track. For example;if  I was bad in the past , say on my cheat day or just  a bad day (I'm human I have them too we all do)  the next day I would give up and be like well I screwed it up and ruined all my hard work. Well ladies and gents weighing myself daily has taught me that no usually one bad day is not going to throw all your hard work in the drain and that yeah you may not be lighter the next day but odds are your no more then 1 pound heavier either, so don't beat yourself up for having a cupcake or an extra piece of pizza as long as its just one day odds are your fine. I need to see that on the scale to stay motivated it also helps me keep up when I hit a snag so I know okay lets change this or try that. So while this works for me and if you think like me it will probably help you also it is definitely not for everyone.
Oil's 
    My skin is awesome, my hair is stunning and well using the oils has been the best decision I ever made. My face breaks out rarely and when it does its so mild. My hair well it hasn't been this awesome in years so grapeseed and coconut oil are officially forever in my bathroom.

Mentally
     Well as I have spoke before I have struggled with depression off and on most of my life. Well recently it has came back full force causing me to be mean and nasty with the people I love the most. Call it not being able to deal and putting up a wall of steel because I kept getting hurt. We lost a baby, I was so over weight I  was unhappy, my father was diagnosed with cancer,my son was born premature, my husbands plant shut down, my son needed 2 surgeries his first year after being in the hospital 60 days, we had to move, my father passed away, my uncle passed away , I didn't get into the perfect Grad school (I am in grad school now though not the perfect one but it will do lol). Pretty much for every good thing that happened to me it seemed there was something equally bad or worse happening, so I did what I did best tried to push people away and shut everyone out. Well things came to a head when the voice in my head wouldn't shut up and I lost control(FYI the voice in my head is my own I don't hear voices but just to explain what i mean better its my fancy way of saying my mind wouldn't shut off) not to mention my mind would say not to do something but then I would do it anyway because that wall was so tall. Well after discussing with my husband we agreed a trip to the doc was in order so now once a morning I take a small little 10mg dose of lexapro and all is well in my head. The biggest downfall is the fact as clarity comes back and the fog lifts you realize the things you were overly bitchy about and you feel like shit. Luckily I have a wonderful husband and supportive family who all forgive me for the crazy. So now that things are clear I am on a mission to make sure those who I love know exactly how much I love them and how much I can't live without them , they really do make my world go round. Also, I share this with you because as a psychology major what kind of professional would I be if I hid my own mental struggles, I mean seriously how can I expect someone to be honest with me if I can't be honest. Mental illness is scary depression is real and the feelings that go along with it are crazy , you feel crazy. There is nothing worse then feeling out of control of yourself. However, I am now back my smiles are no longer hiding anything and my tears well they come a lot right now because wow when that wall comes down and you let people in again you feel really really vulnerable and its scary but things are balancing out and I like that.
Counting my blessings
    I am now counting my blessings every day. I have two healthy sons, who drive me crazy but I love them. I have the worlds best husband who loves me despite my craziness and who has always been there for me and at times is very romantic. Our 6th anniversary I got 6 balloons 6 flowers and 6 boxes of chocolate I almost tear up thinking about that because it was so super romantic he really is perfect. I have a mother who supports and love me in whatever crazy things I choose. I have a brother who is my best friend and I would die without. Last,but certainly not least, I have some of the most amazing friends it takes a lot to be friends with a crazy  person but they do it gladly. So I now count my blessings and take each day as a new day and try to find the good in it because despite all that has tried to knock me down I am still standing .

Cow Bashing AKA You Dirty Fat Bastard

     Okay well first I have an update blog in the works but I read an article today that turned my stomach ill and some of the comments following the article were just as vile. Here is a snippet from the article 

"No two situations are the same. If you are fat and nasty and you don’t like the way you look, do something about it. It’s simple.

When you take a shower and you put your fat, nasty body in the shower and by the time you get out, the mirrors are all steamed up so you don’t look at what you did to yourself. That may sound offensive or insensitive but ultimately, you are big as hell because you have earned that shit. You worked your ass off to eat everything in sight to get big as hell.

If you got a problem with the way you look, then you need to do something about it. Excuses sound best to the people that’s making them up." - Tyrese (yes the same Tyrese from the Fast and the Furious franchise)

http://hellogiggles.com/an-open-letter-to-tyrese-from-a-fat-girl-fan (check the article out here and as always mad props to the hello giggles team them ladies are awesome)

Well first I am going to start with the first sentence; if not for the phrase "fat and nasty" it rings a very true message if you don't like how you look do something about it, however I also disagree with the" it's simple" statement because while yes the thought of okay I don't like it I'm going to change myself is simple its not just that simple to make changes, how about we rephrase that to say it's simple to start, because it's not simple to do. Also he then goes on about putting your fat nasty body in the shower and you worked your off ass to eat everything in sight. WOW, ignorant much, no sir not everyone who is overweight worked their asses off to get fat and regardless how they got there losing weight isn't as easy as gaining. Now first I get that the overall message he was trying to portray was a positive one because I believe to sum it up he is simply saying that you do yourself no favors making excuses for the way you look if you don't like it do something about it. Now see isn't that a much nicer approach then say calling every one fat and nasty and excusing them of eating their way into obesity

 

   Now this brings me to an important message. STOP FAT BASHING, I get it  some of you just think fat people are gross and that is your right but you start infringing on other peoples right to a peaceful existence when you start throwing stones and shaming people because of their weight. Your also more than likely a contributing factor to the "obesity epidemic". How are you a factor you ask , well simple some people are fat due to over eating because they eat for comfort and when you shame them and make them feel so low they go home and eat until they feel better, so yeah its your fault they are fat how about that. No I'm not seriously blaming you, but seriously when you fat bash you aren't helping the problem. However,it is important to remember that the root of someones weight gain may not be as simple as overeating in fact there are other possible causes : Medical causes of obesity can include:

• Hypothyroidism. This is a condition where the thyroid gland, located in the neck, produces too little thyroid hormone. Thyroid hormone regulates our metabolism. So too little hormone slows the metabolism and often causes weight gain. If your doctor suspects thyroid disease as a cause of your obesity, he or she may perform blood tests to check your hormone levels.

• Cushing's syndrome. This condition results when the adrenal glands (located on top of each kidney) produce an excess amount of a steroid hormone called cortisol. This leads to a build-up of fat in characteristic sites such as the face, upper back, and abdomen.

• Depression. Some people with depression overeat, which can lead to obesity.

There are also certain inherited conditions and other diseases of the brain that can cause excess weight gain.

Certain medications, notably steroids, some antidepressants, high blood pressure drugs, and seizure medications can also cause increased body weight.

A doctor can determine if any of these conditions or treatments are responsible for your obesity.

http://www.webmd.com/diet/medical-reasons-obesity     

There you have it not everyone is fat because of overeating there are several possible other options. For me I was doing good maintaining my weight and losing weight then I came off Yasmin and put on over 50lbs in 2 months the thing is my diet and exercise hadn't changed I was still eating good and working out. So please tell me again how I at myself fat. In fact I count my calories now and I hardly ever eat 2000 and I struggle to eat 1200and I workout everyday . I eat through out the day, small things like Greek yogurt and jello for snacks, slim fast if I'm just really needing something sweet(i don't like sweets and slim fast is perfect for me) I eat salads for lunch most days, on occasion I eat something else I am human and get tired of the same ole thing, my dinners usually consists of 1 meat and 2 vegetables so please explain to me again how I ate myself into obesity. I eat proper portion sizes i.e if 1 cup =130 calories I eat 1 cup etc. So it kills me when I see people say oh its just as simple as eating right and exercising because to that I say HA, I have been exercising and eating right and while I am starting to tone up and lose weight its a slow process(REALLY EFFING SLOW) with lots of plateaus and changes, see why people give up there is little reward at first and you get really frustrated. Also, it isn't as simple as getting up and saying okay today I will be thin because it doesn't work like that. Which  brings me to my next point, here I go busting my ass all day everyday trying to make sure I eat right , I exercise right, that I am doing something about it but then you run into the Tyrese's of the world and there are a lot of them and while they don't know my struggles , they don't know I am doing something about they are quick to judge and assume I am fat therefore I am lazy and I ate myself into this condition.THANKS FOR THE MOTIVATION JACK ASSES . People I am not saying its your job to say kind words and be encouraging, if you don't like fat people your entitled to your opinion, but what I am saying is that if you don't think its your job to be motivational then it sure as hell isn't your job to be judgmental and condemn someone for their weight either. Point blank if your not going to be motivational then shut your mouth, I see people posting pics of a fat girl at the beach wearing her bathing suit and making comments like ewwwwww thats nasty - really she is at the beach what would you have her wear a mumu ,not go swimming(good exercise btw) not be comfortable just because you think she is ugly.Even better I have seen videos were a big girl is on a treadmill, running or some other exercise when she trips, flips, falls and goes down and people start going off on her weight saying things like " haha fatty broke the bar","maybe if she wasn't fat she wouldn't have fell", and my personal favorite"eww maybe she should kill herself". WOW people are you really so flawless that you think its okay to insult someone like that and here we go back to my point ,what I see when I see those videos is a person attempting to do something about their weight, they were after all working out when the incident happened, but instead of people just laughing at a fall they start in on her weight and I'm sorry but did you miss the part of the video where at least she is doing something about her weight. Obviously they did  because all they saw was a fat girl and felt a need to start in on her and call her lazy,ugly, and etc.

  So I will conclude my angry rant with this , " If your not a doctor you have no business talking about someone else's weight , if you don't like it don't look and just keep walking , keeping your mouth shut." You never know if its a medical reason they are overweight, if it is over eating , and most importantly you don't know if they are trying to better themselves or not so just SHUT YOUR EFFING PIE HOLE. 

p.s This means skinny bashing as well , granted I personally would rather have skinny girl problems vs fat girl problems, its still the same concept you never know a persons struggles and what they are doing(if anything) to "fix" what you feel is a problem. Also just because you see a problem doesn't mean they do or that the problem is with them. A lot of times we see problems in others because we are afraid of our own reflection in the mirror. 

p.s.s -- CANT WE ALL JUST LOVE AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER.

  

not cows but its the main message lol . Try to forget all the people with the ill words and try to just remember that how you see yourself matters the most. "Haters gunna hate-yo". LMAO

all pictures obtained from google I do not own the rights I borrowed from google and they just fit i do not claim the pictures as my own creations.

The Past .....................

   I think that it is time that I have done enough skirting around my past and really lay it out there. I went through a lot and while I have chosen to use those things and grow into a better person and while I use that experience to make myself a better person today I think that it is time to really share the whole story or at least most of it anyway in an attempt to get out a story that hopefully will allow others to see you are not alone and there are others who have been there. So here we go.

  

   Once upon a time 11.5 years ago I was a newly 18 year college freshmen. I was all about the party and having fun and I met a guy who I had tons of fun with, however I couldn't get him to commit so after 4 months I moved on (not completely I will get to that). In truth what started as moving on was really just an attempt to make the other jealous and while it worked it didn't work as well as I planned. I moved out of my parents house and into an apartment with the "new" guy and a friend and that is when my whole world began to change. The new guy and I fought all the time even in the new stages of this relationship and I kept finding myself leaning on the "old" guy but at this point nothing happened, well nothing too bad, until one night we split up and I went to the "old" guy and we had  one more night of crazy fun. Then when I returned home the new guy was there with apologies and such and I took him back and 3 days later I took a pregnancy test which came back positive. I thanked goodness for choosing to test when I did as only one could be the father and I decided I had to put the past behind me, it was hard the past knew my weakness's and had me wrapped around a finger but I did it for the greater good the child growing inside me. So me and the new guy began our life together or so I thought when a misunderstanding happened between us and other roommates and a fight erupted the "new" guy went to jail and I was left alone in an apartment scared and pregnant so I went to the "old" guy and he gave me a shoulder to a cry on and ear to talk to but soon I got a call and got the new guy out of jail and we moved on with our lives and into a new apt. A few months passed when I told him of the night we split and that I had went back to the old guy that night and what happened, I told him I was sorry but we had broken up and I was angry and I went back to what felt good at the time. He was angry but he admitted he went back to his ex and we made up. 

*LETS GET PHYSICAL*

    The first time he hit me I believed it was an accident now I don't think so, supposedly he was asleep and punched me in the jaw he claimed he had no idea and that he was dreaming and I let it go because I know people do crazy things in their sleep. However, arguments and such continued on and things went from bad to worse quick. One night he came in the house angry I can't remember about what but I was about 5 months huge(I mean pregnant lol) and we started to fight he picked up a drink and through it all over me and then walked out the door. I remember sitting on the couch crying trying to figure out what I had done that was so bad and then went and sat in the bathtub fully clothed crying trying to figure out what happened. Well he came home all apologies and I figured well it was just a drink,right? Wrong, fast forward two months and we had yet another fight this time though he decided to hit me and I mean really hit me in the back because I turned around to protect my pregnant belly, it was so bad that the next day I could barely raise my arm and the bruise covered my left side of  my back. On cue he apologized and I accepted because I was so confused and scared and unsure of what all just happened how could a person stand before me tell me they love me then beat me so brutally while I carried their unborn child inside me. Things carried on but never got that bad again while I was pregnant ,so I thought things were better, but the arguing never stopped it was so out of hand that when I was upset about something at the hospital I was told I was an embarrassment and needed to shut up or he would leave me there. I sat quietly the whole time and I tried convincing myself that I just needed to make things work; I had a baby, I was only 19, a boy needs his father, and that I should make things work. * Side note this is not the same person you met in the beginning that girl well that girl would have whipped his ass and this girl typing she would now but when your in a situation where you are so scared and confused its easy to forget what your supposed to do and try to remember what you should do *  We got home and things seemed to be a little better but soon they just got worse he couldn't keep a job and he wouldn't help with the baby and I was suffering depression and I felt alone. However, the arguments kept up and the abuse as well . 

*LETS GET PHYSICAL:AGAIN*

    It was my first mothers day when I got the best present ever, a busted lip, my neighbor came over because I was hitting the wall and he had to own up to what happened, first time. After that he got smarter and the abuse went to only hitting me in the head and upper arms places that no one would see really(it was a regular thing). I finally talked to someone about things and they offered to help pack me up and get me out of there and move me back to moms but I swore I could handle things . I said that because I was scared it would make things worse somehow and I didn't want other people fighting my battle. Things continued to get worse our little baby walked right out the front door while he sat on the couch because he said I was supposed to be watching him while I showered because it was my job, he raped me because I didn't want to touch him anymore. 

* ALMOST THE FINAL STRAW*

    Things really broke out when a phone call came in and he swore it was the "old"guy because they said they had the wrong number I assured him that it was a wrong number but he said I was lying , I was wrong and I told him I had enough . I then proceeded to pack a bag for me and  my son and tried to leave when he threw me through a wall, my arm was black, my back was sore and I managed to leave and went to my moms, where the next day we went to see a detective. He spent a few nights in jail and his mom called me and told me that you don't put people you love in jail.* side not but apparently you beat the shit out of them*  I was working and doing things alone for a bit but he wrote me this long letter about how he was a horrible person and begged me to take him back and I tried to say no but I was alone and I had a baby wanting to know where daddy is so I gave him another chance*side note i'm intelligent but i was moron then* Things just kept getting worse I developed vasculitis and had to quit my job and he continued to hit me.I started having an affair with a married man not because it was right but because it was nice to finally have someone want me and not tell me how worthless I was. Finally he had to do weekends in jail, managed to find a job and I started college again. He would get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, and then go away on weekends so it was peaceful. 

*THE FINAL STRAW*

    The affair continued but when he did start a fight again I was pushed to my edge and one night found myself sitting on a kitchen floor with a knife to my wrist thinking that if I killed myself at least then he wouldn't be able to kill me. Than I thought I couldn't do that to my child and I walked into the bed room and stood above him with the knife in my hand contemplating how I would kill him without waking him, then I saw this sweet baby face laying in the bed and realized I couldn't do that to my son. That's when my intelligence kicked in and I decided to devise a plan ,I was going to transfer colleges and move into a family dorm without telling him, I was done. However, after his weekends in jail ended he decided he needed to go to a friends house every weekend and when I went to pick him up one week I caught him with another woman and I kept the apartment /

*THAT'S REALLY THE END?*

   No not the end yet, but other than in court for child support 9 months later I haven't seen him now in almost 9 yrs. I am now happily married with two boys and I receive child support because the government takes it straight out of his checks. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder and I am now overweight but I am working on those things and all the other mental problems that were left behind the external scars healed the bruises gone but whats inside is still there those never go away. However, I have now lost 20 pounds haven't needed an antidepressant in 4 years and I have an associates degree and bachelors degree and start a masters in psychology program in August now. I have been through even more now, I have had fertility issues miscarried at 14 weeks and then had my son at 29 weeks, my husbands plant shut down, we moved to a different state, and my father died of cancer. However, despite all of this and pain that still survives from the past I find that I now can stand on my own two feet a lot easier and I know that it wasn't stupidity that kept me in that situation (yes I called myself a moron and I say I was stupid) but it was fear I was scared for my life and my sons life and I was scared of the unknown but what I learned now is this: your past can be a road straight through hell and dwelling on it is easy I still struggle with nights and days where I just want to understand it better and I just want to know why but I tell myself this "things were not my fault, I deserve better, I have better now and that my past will not define me it will teach me." I now see myself as a better person and I do have setbacks I am human but I will not let this past decide my future.

*THE MORAL*   

    So with all that I tell you my story not because I want sympathy but because you never know what a person has gone through , is going through, or has been through and also someone may read this and think well shit if she can do it so can I.Also, I was so ashamed of all that happened in that time and all I did and now I realize not every decision I made then was smart or right but it is in the past and nothing I should be ashamed of I am not that person anymore. We are so quick to judge a person before we really know them and we need to stop and take a second to consider the what if's. Domestic violence is not fun and we all have a "game plan" and we all say "well if it was me I'd ........." but the truth is until your there and until it is you , you have no idea what you would do and no idea what a person goes through. It doesn't make a person stupid for staying or even going back its not their intelligence that is called into question, an abuser doesn't count on intelligence he counts on weakness and fear. So I encourage you to not judge someone until you know and do not let your past define you. Learn from your mistakes and learn from your past and allow yourself to become the best you that you can be, the road isn't smooth and there will be u-turns , forks, and construction but if you just keep your eyes on your destination you will get there and never be ashamed of where you have been be proud you were able to move on. 

Good Moms Don't ?

 

    So your a mom now and everywhere you look you will find people full of advice. There are books on what you shouldn't do and books on what you should and what one person says is bad another will tell you its good. (kinda like dieting) So today as I was reading through my facebook feed someone shared an article on  not yelling at your kids and what this mom learned by not yelling.

 Now reading through the article I personally found the mother to have made several valid points and at one point she even called herself a Rhino, which was hilarious, I loved it and will post the link at the bottom. Now what set me off though was one of her viewers comments, they applauded her for ending her behavior because if she really got that mad and out of control she was abusing her kids. SERIOUSLY, are you kidding me people?, this is a damned if you do damned if you don't situation. While I will go ahead and state that YES you can abuse your children verbally as well as physically the simple act of getting angry, shaking(meaning you start shaking), turning red, and shouting at the top of your lungs to GO TO YOUR ROOMS NOW! is not abuse, screaming ,yelling, and shouting to knock it off, leave your sibling alone, keep your hands to yourself, and etc are not ABUSE (at least not in my opinion). Now abuse would be " Get over here now you low life , little abortion I should have had, " that would start to constitute as abuse and would warrant an OKAY mom knock it off. 

So this all brings me to my point , the biggest fight of them all , what do good  moms do ? Well boys and girls  good moms love their children, good moms care, and good moms do whats best for their children(Thats specific there, I literally mean their individual children). As a child from the "get a belt" era I can assure you getting my ass spanked didn't make me a criminal, however getting my rear tanned got a point through my head that you don't do that again mmmmmmmmmmmkay.  Now some parents don't believe in spanking and thats fine by me but whether you do or don't unless you have a degree and a ton of research to support your theory don't go around telling people that they are wrong for the way they raise their kids. So this all brings me to my list of what good mom's don't do.

                                                     GOOD MOMS DON'T......

1. Let others beliefs overthrow her own beliefs on what is right for her children

  Short list ? Well its simple, isn't it and goes back to my main point as a mother you do what is best for your children and don't let others tell you that you are wrong. There are a million blogs out there talking about what changes a person has made and how it has affected their children and life and it is just fine to browse through those things in an attempt to get ideas, better yourself, or make a better life for your family in general. Asking, googling, searching, or whatever else is needed is nothing to be ashamed of and I don't claim to be a perfect mother by any means, I have faults but it just really gets to me when I see someone saying that yelling at your children is abuse or spanking is abuse or even not doing so is abuse. I mean at what point is enough , enough . People have complaints about everything, they get mad if your kid is acting a fool but then claim its abuse when you discipline the child . Therefore, moms/parents discipline how you feel is appropriate for your child because only you know what will work for them and if you need help ask, just don't let those who "know it all" influence how you raise your children because they have made your afraid. Lets all do society a favor and stay out of our neighbors houses and let them raise their children as they see fit. (disclaimer: I'm not saying allow children to be actually abused I'm just saying if you see a parent swat a kid on the rear whether you agree or not walk away and shut your mouth)

The article I was talking about above, I enjoyed it and thought the author made some excellent points .... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-orange-rhino/10-things-i-learned-when-i-stopped-yelling_b_2886161.html

Why cant i cover two different topics in one post?Changing plans and marriage equality

At this point do I need to put a warning ;)

    So when plans change I feel about like the cow above ready to strike, scream, or eat anyone or anything that comes in my path. So what has made me so angry this week well let me start with this OUR GOVERNMENT SUCKS. So I am in the process of changing majors and I was slated to start April 9th in the new program, so I have been totally psyched out and ready, even got things confirmed. Then my financial aid adviser calls to inform me that things have changed and so recently in fact he didn't know until he was in the process of getting me processed. What is this change ? As explained to me and my understanding. It was that previously if you were in a masters program you just had to complete 25 hours and could change majors well now you have to wait for the financial year(ie first started Aug 13th have to wait for that date again)- FYI this is the loan departments thing NOT the schools so this will effect anyone. The messed up thing about this is technically I still have open and available aid this year they just won't let me use it to change majors, I'm unhappy about this at the least but I will make due with it because that is what I do- Smile nod and just get psyched up for August.

 Now, the big discussion this week is on marriage equality, okay so being honest when is this not a big issue recently. Here is my thought on this - Whatever Floats your Boat - seriously people if it doesn't effect you personally then why are you so concerned about stopping something. What people do in their own homes is their business and being honest they will continue to do whatever they want whether we allow them to be married and HELL in a country with divorce rates as high as they are maybe the "gays and lesbians" can help lower that divorce rate statistic, maybe it will still continue to rise but maybe it won't who knows. However, at the end of the day people will still go home to the person they love whether or not you allow them to call themselves married or not so why not allow it, why not allow them to have a person to legally have and to hold for better or worse till death do them part. Also,I read so many things about people claiming they are Christian and that this is an abomination and sin etc etc and they preach nothing but hate filled words and judgement so while I may not be Christian I found an interesting passage that I believe fills this situation perfectly .(my point isn't that being Christian is bad its just I thought being Christian meant being free from hate so why preach hate to prove a point)

Romans 14:1-4

As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

Now everything is open to interpretation in life and I don't claim to fully understand the Bible or Christianity I just believe in being a good person and I really think this passage expresses that(should also note here that for my passage that proves my point I'm sure you can find one that proves yours, but I like this one because it speaks, in my opinion, to just being a general morally sound and tolerant person). My interpretation is to welcome those who believe differently do not fight about your opinions and do not judge one other for a difference. In all I take a passage about being tolerant if you do not believe that marriage equality is right, well then so be it , but don't preach a message full of hate when it is much easier to just accept you are different and move on because in the end there will be one judge and it is not you. Now again this is my interpretation of this if you feel it is wrong ,well again that is your opinion. I just can't stand to see so many people trying to hold their heads and noses up at the world and claiming to be so much better than another person but yet spill nothing but hatred out of their mouth if you want to pose an argument do so without spewing hate that is all I am saying. Why can't we all just get along? LOL. Seriously though my take is if it floats your boat that's great just don't go trying to rock mine and keep your boat shows away from my kids and that goes for gay, straight, bi-sexual, tri-sexual , and well shit any kind of sexual preferences, my kids don't need to see two people pawing each other regardless of gender preference. =)

Horsemen of PMS

TMI WARNING: will i ever have a post without a warning I doubt it - im an uncensored mad cow Lol.

   So as I sit here busting my butt to look good again and get in shape what happens but PMS, which I am one of the few who manage to get all the symptoms a week before the actual dirty deed arrives and I get it all pretty bad - think Anemic. So when the horsemen of PMS arrive I get agitated because its like all my hard work is now null and void for the next week , its cow-poop I tell you, cow-poop. 
   However I figure I should discuss these  Horsemen in an attempt to connect with my fellow sisters in PMS HELL. 

1. Bloated - Does anyone else deal with this one like I do? Seriously, I have been known to put on up to 10 pounds right before that time hits and its misery, especially now that I am working my butt off trying to lose weight . I mean seriously here I am starving, eating right, and exercising(that should be a 4 letter word) and bam bloated shows up like a dirty whore in the middle of your marriage. Now my pants are a little snug and my cute tops have an extra bulge and I'm gassy, which brings me to horsemen number.

2. Gassy- Okay seriously there is nothing better then dealing with the bloat than to add gas to it, oh yeah talk about feeling sexy, bloated and gassy. I'm sexy and I know it.

3. Acne-  COME ON can't one of you horsemen take a break, pleeeeeeeeeease. Seriously if one of you take a break acne has to be it I am an aging woman , I am turning 25 again this year and acne at my age is annoying, if I have to have acne can't I at least have the body I had back at 13. 

4. Moody - This is one of my favorite horsemen because it allows me the ability to go from perfectly sane kind caring woman to a complete and "udder" mess. Its all love and kisses one minute and all "ONE MORE WORD AND I'LL RIP YOUR HEART OUT"  the next. Moody is also responsible for weird crying , why do I call it weird crying because all the sudden things that never make me cry make me cry , don't you dare show me an ASPCA commercial I will cry for hours. At last, my favorite mood brought on by moody is bitchy/bitter, you know that moment when your kid is all look mom isn't this a wonderful drawing and you put on your happy face but inside your like omg who cares I could do it better. These mixed emotions that turn me into an all out psycho is why moody is my absolute favorite of the horsemen. -------- NOT

5. Crampy - I add this one because while typically most people don't get crampy until the day the dirty deed begins or maybe a day early, I get it during PMS. Yes boys and girls all that cramping before anything is actually happening and personally it is beginning to piss me off . 

   Maybe I am bitter because I have been dealing with this since I was 10 and while the joy of becoming a woman then was so awesome, now its like ughhhhhhhhh I'm a woman. Honestly, I would love to strap on a penis and be a man for a month with male hormones and all , while also giving a man a chance to know the joy of PMS, and finally I will have a month to figure out why they keep their hands down their pants so much I mean is that thing really that fun to fondle constantly.


*finally as a reminder all pictures were Googled and are not originals of my own*

You do what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!What I'm doing for results..

So before I proceed some of this information may be perceived as TMI(much like the picture below) so proceed carefully and know this -  YOU have been warned - again

 So I have been doing things,dirty things. JUST KIDDING, but I have been doing things my way when it comes to weight loss and skin care. Now by my way I mean things I have found from Google and friends suggestions but that may not fit the "norm". So I thought since these things appear to be working for me I would share them with you and what results I am seeing so far. Now I would like to give credit to all these things to the original creators but I won't be doing so because I don't know so I will say this - THESE ARE NOT MY ORIGINAL IDEAS these are just ones I am using based on friends and google - just like all my awesome images I use they come from google. GOOOOOOGLE rocks YO .

Weight Loss--
         First i record everything with myfitnesspal which gives me a calorie goal of 1950 which I almost never hit I'm usually under.. So here we go , 2 Chocolate Royale Slim-Fast shakes a day made with Vanilla Almond Milk and a Green Coffee bean Extract pill in the morning and one at night . Snacks I try to keep to a minimal a small piece or two of homemade beef jerky , a cookie(seriously 1 (one, uno,single,) cookie, a tbsp of salsa and the proper serving size of chips so like 5 chips in most cases, when it comes to snacking I'm talking really small portions of things, cucumbers and stuff like that. I'm a woman and on occasion I want chocolate well 6 dove dark pieces make up a serving which has like 160 calories so think about 2-3 of those if you need chocolate. I don't eat breakfast and I have my shake and i don't eat lunch i have my shake unless Im just really starving then I fix like say a can of soup for my son and eat 1/3 or less of it, now dinner I eat a normal dinner but in smaller portions then normal and try to keep my dinner down to 500 calories or less but if I go over no BIGGIE because the rest of the day wasn't so bad. Then when I start feeling hungry later I take that second Green Coffee bean pill it seems to help the cravings and I drink some water(typically with pink lemonade mix- regular water makes me GAG.

   Now, I try to do some sort of exercise be it hours of hard cleaning and I'm talking scrubbing floors, mopping, sweeping , vacuuming, or a few minutes on the elliptical . Yeah, a few minutes isn't a lot but it is for someone just starting and I'm up to 2 slow and 3 fast minutes on it so considering that number used to be 2 and done I'd say things are going good.
  Things that have been cut out. Pasta's right now are on a very minimal basis and cheese's have been cut down a lot, as well as breads, think a sandwich with only one piece of bread if I have a sandwich , soda's as well not that I have ever been a big soda's drinker so that was nothing.
    Slimfast warning though - it contains fiber and fiber makes you "regular" but if you haven't been getting the proper fiber at first you may discover a need for a nearby bathroom, A LOT, until your body regulates and even then you may notice an increase in bathroom usage--- I told you TMI. You were warned. Now my plan here may not work for everyone but so far I am down almost 10+ pounds in a week and 5 inches at last measure but this works for me it doesn't mean it will work for you so keep that in mind and know your weakness's.

Skin care - -

So as a maturing woman my skin care has been a problem. Not that I dont take care of my skin I do but for some reason I have been "blessed" with the joy that is acne and large pores and tired eyes. UGHHHHHH not what I want to see looking in the mirror, so a friend suggested the oil wash method(50/50 mix of EVOO and coconut oil) and I was like hmmm I lack coconut oil but I have grape seed sooooooooo I googled and sure enough you can use just grape seed alone and a bath with some grape seed oil is good for your skin and even other benefits, I saw one site mention that grape seed oil can help yeast infections(now i have not tried that one but found it on a search and thought it interesting). However I took a bath splashed some in the water with some sea salt and had a nice relaxing bath and my skin feels moisturized and smooth,  yesssssssssssss and thank you its nice to feel soft. So then I decided to try the face wash with it so what  I do at night is get a cotton ball and use lemon juice as an astringent and then another one to coat my face in grape seed oil , I then go about taking medications putting kids to bed and closing up shop for the night and rinse my face off and I have to report that at first I had a few zits pop up and I got worried but they were the "oh a zit grrr ,oh I touched it and it popped,coool" kind -- does that make sense, I hope so.. But sense then nothing much to report and my face is smooth my eye bags seem to be fading and my forehead wrinkles appear to be fading as well. Now here is the last thing I do and its not every night, but rather as a special treat.... You know KNOX gelatin (the plain stuff comes with 3 packs in a cheap box) well upon googling I found a recipe that stated take the Knox box open it remove 1 pack and mix with 1 tbsp milk stir , stick in microwave for 10 seconds pull out stir for a second and immediately apply.. ( here are the important parts to this :use a plastic spoon or wooden stick this stuff gets sticky and the apply immediately is extremely important it will start to harden and you will lose your creation). However I do use a regular bowl at home and have found that after I'm done if I immediately stick the bowl in the sink and fill with water I have no problems getting it clean..... Now to remove this just wait until you feel like you can't move your face ,its good and hard and than peel- it does stick good and may be a bit painful on sensitive spots - I have noticed cleaner pores with this but I will warn you DO NOT GET IT ON YOUR EYEBROW it will pull the hair off - I get peach fuzz between my eyes and well lets just say its gone along with some eyebrow from the first time, I have contemplated trying this as a wax on my legs and I may do it on a two tequila night when I'm feeling brave .. I also recommend a homemade sugar scrub once in a while to keep your face feeling really loved - but you will have to google it yourself as I haven't made one in awhile and I need to google a new one.

 Over all these are the things I use and feel free to try what you want. However, I am not a doctor nor do I play one on T.V. and while these things work for me they may not work for you. With any new diet or exercise I suggest you discuss with your doctor before committing to it and as far as skin care, I suggest testing a small area for allergies.  These things are working for me and I am beginning to lose weight and feel great and I will try to keep with the updates. SO onward to the goal of not being such a heffer. =)